the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
tell me about the fingering
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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