dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
