He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize