Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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