Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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