He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
