Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(789): View more from

If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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(954): View more from Florida

I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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(916): View more from California

I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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(858): View more from California

I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.

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