I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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