Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
