i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
