Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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