Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
