Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
