he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
