ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
