I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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