you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
