If that was your dad, he is hot
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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