They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
