He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
