your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
God, I missed his penis.
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