What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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