so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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