well I can't set my house on fire every night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize