I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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