And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
