I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
