i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
