I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
