Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize