I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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