my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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