Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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