In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
