Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
two words...techno handjob
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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