I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
