I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
