I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
