yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
