Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
