Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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