Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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