i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize