It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
