I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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