There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize