you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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