We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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