Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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