his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize