If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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