Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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