4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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