Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
