the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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