You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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