Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
