your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
