hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
