I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
