I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
