??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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