summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
