I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
