Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
