Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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