Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
