Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
